It was an otherwise-humble regional news story about Kidderminster Harriers, a local team who, as I understand it, are in the lowly bowels of the league tables. I'm not sure whereabouts in the league they currently reside, as the item didn't reveal this, but I suspect they're probably somewhere around Division 204.
There was apparently a significance about their next match because they were due to face Coventry City in the FA cup (who I am confident are in a much higher division, because I've actually heard of them). But being a non-football fan, it is not this minor tournament achievement which aroused my interest; but the strange and magical twist which the story then took.
It transpired that the game had not been secured by the sporting prowess and footballing skill of the team, but by the efforts of an old lady called Connie Nickless.
The item's narrator proclaimed that, 2 years ago, before every round in the FA trophy, Connie baked a lucky banana loaf for the Harrier's superstitious manager Mark Yates. It was then specifically stated that these culinary efforts alone had consequently led the team all the way to Wembley. From then on, the Harrier's manager asked Connie to bake a cake before every cup game, fully subscribing to the belief that it 'fetches them luck'. The story concluded that they were expectant for her magical mix to work again in their match against Coventry.
I couldn't believe my ears and eyes! Imagine that; an old lady, with an enchanted banana loaf to provide the abstract concept of luck to this game of skill. Ordinarily you'd have thought you were witnessing the stuff of fantastic fables. But this was no fairy tale - it was actually on the news. Not just any old newsflash, but on the BBC Regional news. Everybody knows the Beeb has a responsibility to report in as factually level-headed manner as possible. And there they were, factually declaring that this desert has scientifically unexplainable magical powers. Even the team's manager was convinced the fate of his team had nothing to do with the abilities of his own players, and was all down to the baked produce of a supporter. At least it takes a bit of pressure and responsibility off him when has to pick the team.
Naturally, I can't help being a tad cynical. If they do win tomorrow's game, wouldn't it be an immoral victory? I am not au faux with the FA's rules, so I am not qualified to comment whether it would be a breach of regulations to use a magic banana loaf to win a football game. Nevertheless surely a scruple of ethics will inevitably be opened at some point. They've been remarkably short-sighted. They should have kept schtum about their magic loaf; this news report could eventually end up as 'bang-to-rites' evidence of their pudding-based treachery.
But even taking any football politic out of the equation, there's no escaping what massive news this all is. This dessert, after all, is a modern miracle! Why was the story tucked away as a tiny regional sportsdesk item? Why hasn't the national, if not international, media picked up on this wondrous phenomenon? Maybe it's one for the conspiracy theorists to think about. The only rational feasibility I can proffer is that they need to see more evidence of the cake's special powers before breaking the news globally. This means that Midlands Today viewers have been treated to an almost apocalyptic world exclusive, which questions the very foundation of our scientific belief systems (and to think I was considering leaving the Midlands).
If Harriers win tomorrow, it will be assured evidence in the existence of magic. You might say that the proof is, quite literally, in the pudding (I didn't steal that pun from the report by the way. Theirs was about the team 'being a potential banana skin' for Coventry's cup chances).
Whatever the final result, tomorrow will be a new experience for me. For the first time in my life I will be eagerly checking the football scores, so rest assured there'll at least be one miracle happening. Maybe with this new soccer enthusiasm, I'm finally on the road to being a proper man?
Ok, so my interest is less about the macho game itself and more about the enchanted baking of an old woman. But still, it's a start.
