You’ve got to have a hobby. Some people play sports. Others view the miraculous heavens through a telescope. Mine is to collect amusing Spam. By Spam, I do not mean the pinkish-grey tubes of meat, but rather the cold-call emails that often offer to expand one’s pinkish-grey tubes of meat. I even have a special email folder for storing any particular favourite subject lines. Messages are more likely to qualify for the ‘keepers’ list if they fall under one of the following categories; 1) absurd innuendo 2) appallingly explicit misogyny 3) descriptive vileness 4) genuine wit.
Here are my top 10 favourite Sapam messages so far this year:-
Number 10
“3 ways to turn any woman to a fountain of response and desire.”
Number 9
“Beat her womb with your new big rod, so that she knew who wears the pants!”
Number 8
“If you've got a small dic'k, don't blame your parents, just think how to increase it”
Number 7
“Slap that ass of hers!.”
”
Number 6
Don't you think it's time you stopped being a loser with a tiny pen!s?
Number 5
“Fill her twat to the limits”
Number 4
“Pound your lady into submission nightly”
Number 3
“If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war”
Number 2 (a close 2nd)
Your new pecker in the mail
But my favourite SPAM message of the year so far, has to be…
Number 1
“The Loin King”
A blog is a great place to utilize these otherwise lost little gems. Please let me know if you happen to chance upon any great Spam message titles (or indeed fake sender's names) that you’d like to share.
